BDA Coaching Blog

Why did I first decide to self coach in the first place?

I've had 2 official and paid coaches in my entire lifting career. And I want to say that I am grateful for the things that both coaches were able to and willing to teach/learn with me.

Truthfully, the main reason that I originally decided to self coach was due to my own lack of patience in the normal and expected lag in feedback when your coach has a part time job, is a full time student like you, and you train at 1am most of the time. It was an unrealistic expectation that I ended up actually needing in all honesty. But, it was something that took me until this fall to realize I do need this, and it's okay that I need that. To be fair, I really don't have to wait for feedback when self coaching. All I have to do is think. Then, boom. Instant answers.

This is also partly why I've now decided to continue self coaching indefinitely.

This year's experience.

I can really STRESS about weight selection probably more than any other aspect of training. Which is partly why I wanted to hire a coach this year. On top of knowing that I already have most of the puzzle put together for what works, but felt as if I was still missing a couple of pieces to get the whole picture complete for preps. I stress a lot around top set numbers even when I write out what I predict to be reasonable.

I often under or overshoot when I'm in prep, and knowing that I was no longer as in tune with that aspect of my own training under a new coach and programming strategy had been stressful to the point that the stress was leading to a positive feedback loop of lifts not feeling good, stressing more, and being so stressed that lifts didn't feel good. And the cycle just kept accruing more and more stress until I was at a point that I had to stop a deadlift session because I could not stop crying. The ugly kind. This kind of behavior was unfortunately pretty common with some elbow inflammation and pain when I was in equipment, but hadn't experienced since I switched to raw lifting.

It was not a fun place to be in less than 10 weeks out.

I know now that I am on the Autism spectrum. Which means that my brain processes information in a pretty specific way. It's also why I feel that the word "malfunction" is an appropriate description of what my brain was doing. I couldn't force myself to buy into the new strategies even though I completely agreed with the reasoning for them. Keep in mind that I've had the same split for almost 10 years with rotating variations and mostly changes to rep scheme and accessories over that time. I prefer to keep things consistent so I know exactly what to adjust. I don't like to alter or change my usual RPE progression through blocks. I'm okay with certain changes, like repeating RPE 7 or 8, but not a big change like starting with an RPE 8 in week 1.

My brain just cannot process certain kinds of change, and my body will refuse to cooperate as a result. I have recently been working a LOT on unmasking some behaviors that take up a lot of mental space for me. Which I believe will help me tremendously moving forward with all future meet performances and allow me to use that extra mental space and energy.

Raw Nationals prep.

Switching gears to self coach at around 8 weeks out from Raw Nationals this year was terrifying. I started about as light as it gets and I tried to focus solely on how things felt. I wrote a program for week 1 and adjusted based on how everything felt for the rest of prep based on that first feedback week. And things didn't feel great or even back to normal for me until around 3 weeks out. As a result, I had SUCH low expectations for this meet that being able to win and secure prize money was the cherry on top. I was truly expecting to need to fight for my life to maintain my title.

I felt SO good at the meet that I decided to hit an SBD session two days after competing, because I was mad that I wasn't as sore as I expected to be. I am usually super beat up after competing. Add to that that I actually had to cut about 1.5llbs last minute the day of to make weight, there was no reason for me to not be sore and feel gross. It makes me extremely confident about the next few preps. That 3/3 deadlift was what I was waiting to figure out.

Taking a blanket and hiring a game day coach are both truly key components I will duplicate for every single big meet moving forward. On top of starting weight much lighter at the beginning of prep.

I've got my work cut out for me this next year.

What's next?

I am officially switching to Powerlifting America to try to get to IPF Classic Worlds next year.  I think there is an actual shot that I could get there and compete. I don't know about win, but you bet I'm going to fight for it. It's been a terrifying process of finally deciding to make the switch as I am so tied to the USAPL with personal relationships, judging, and coaching within the federation. However, I feel that I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I never pursued the IPF route. Even if it's not a permanent choice. I owe it to myself to try. And I owe it to myself to pursue competition after a relatively easy win.

I'm extremely excited to know that I'll need to fight for a spot on Team USA and that I'll need to truly give everything I've got if I can get to that international stage. I haven't been this excited and felt so much like an underdog in a while.

If there is one thing I love to do more than lifting itself, it is to prove those who doubt me wrong.